Yes, I'm jealous.
The green monster is eating me alive and making me do crazy things
Such as, putting an entry in when I have tonnes of work to finish by tonight
What you ask am I jealous about?
Everyone has been able to faithfully key in their entries in their blogs but not me.
I'm amazed at how they managed to find time in their crazy schedules and here I am...
experiencing probably what they did, squeezing time out of no where to put in an entry
Ha, the feeling is quite... interesting.
Lately my thoughts are everywhere
Work, parents, home, money, meaning, my cats
Well, lets try to go through them in an orderly manner... if I can
WORK
things are really a hell of a mess, with uncertainty leeching at the back of my mind
I'm distracted half the time and like someone, I do yearn to run away, fly away, whatever away...
the fact is, whatever that is affecting work, decisions and all, affects more than just a part of my life
yes, work is one part of it, but it also will affect my home, my life, my emotions...
How does one manage after being dependent for too long? I wish I am the one going away... humph!
Irresponsible... is how I feel
HOME
parents are really lonely these days, I can actually feel the loneliness oozing out of their bodies
sigh, and there seems so little I can do.
there are alot of things money can't buy, worse when you dun even have the money to buy the things that can make them happy
pathetic... is how i feel
MEANING
Never felt more lost than lately
confused with what I want for work, confused with what I want for life
confused with what i'm existing for
confused... is how I feel
I wish I can write something else, like thoughts on some small insignificant things
and yet, i'm feeling too empty inside to be trivial
too shallow to be deep and philosophical
too tired to dream and fantasize
Oh, but in the midst of all this
I found time to paint and felt that it was truly therapeutic
will take pictures of the paintings and upload the next time...
when I find time...
...
